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Manners and Etiquette in Malay Culture

Everyday courtesies in Malaysia and Brunei, from using the right hand to greeting elders, with the Malay phrases that go with them.

Language and manners go together. A few customs, and the phrases that accompany them, will make your interactions warmer.

Greetings

  • Selamat pagi — good morning
  • Selamat petang — good afternoon or evening
  • Selamat malam — good night
  • Apa khabar? — How are you?
  • Khabar baik. — I'm well.

Muslims often greet each other with Assalamualaikum ("peace be upon you"), and the reply is Waalaikumsalam.

The handshake and salam

Many Malays greet with a light touch of the hands followed by placing the hand on the chest, called salam. Some people do not shake hands across genders, so wait to see whether a hand is offered.

Use the right hand

The right hand is used for eating, giving and receiving. Using the left hand to pass things or to point is considered impolite.

Pointing and feet

  • Point with your thumb (with the fingers curled) rather than the index finger.
  • Avoid pointing your feet at people, and don't step over someone's belongings.
  • Avoid touching someone's head, which is regarded as a respected part of the body.

Entering a home

  • Take off your shoes at the door.
  • Greet the elders first.
  • Accept a drink if offered, even a sip.

Respect for elders

Elders are addressed with respect, using titles or family terms such as pak cik and mak cik. Younger people often greet elders first, and a common sign of respect is to take the elder's hand and touch it briefly to the forehead.

Polite words

Malay Meaning
terima kasih thank you
sama-sama you're welcome
maaf sorry
tolong please, help
silakan please, go ahead

Dress

Modest dress is appreciated, especially at religious sites, where you may need to cover your shoulders and knees.

Tips

  1. Use your right hand.
  2. Greet with respect.
  3. Use the dictionary to check phrases.

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