Tu or Lei? Formal and Informal Italian

Italian has two ways to say "you" in the singular: tu (informal) and Lei (formal). Choosing correctly is a sign of good manners.

Tu: informal

Use tu with friends, family, children, young people and people your own age in casual settings:

• Come stai? — How are you?
• Di dove sei? — Where are you from?
• Hai fame? — Are you hungry?

Lei: formal

Use Lei with strangers, older people, in shops, offices and professional situations. It is written with a capital L in formal writing. The verb takes the same form as he/she:

• Come sta? — How are you?
• Di dove è? — Where are you from?
• Ha fame? — Are you hungry?

Comparison

Situation	Informal	Formal
How are you?	Come stai?	Come sta?
What's your name?	Come ti chiami?	Come si chiama?
Excuse me	Scusa	Scusi
Can you help me?	Puoi aiutarmi?	Può aiutarmi?
Goodbye	Ciao	ArrivederLa

Greetings

• Ciao — informal hello and goodbye. Avoid it with strangers.
• Buongiorno — good morning, and good day until the afternoon.
• Buonasera — good evening, from mid-afternoon.
• Buonanotte — good night.
• Salve — a neutral hello between formal and informal.
• Arrivederci — goodbye, polite.
• A presto — see you soon.

Introductions

• Piacere. — Pleased to meet you.
• Molto lieto (m.) / Molto lieta (f.) — Delighted, a little more formal.
• Mi chiamo Anna. — My name is Anna.

Plural "you"

Voi is the plural, used both formally and informally: Come state? — How are you all?

Which to choose?

• If unsure, start with Lei. Italians will often say Possiamo darci del tu? (May we use tu?), and you can move to tu once invited.
• Young people often use tu quickly with each other.

Tips

1. Default to Lei with anyone you don't know.
2. Listen to how people address you.
3. Use the dictionary to check verb forms.

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